Speed Post (or Post on Speed)

Okay, so I haven’t had time to post anything in quite a while, so here is a quick run thru of topics I would expound upon if I had the time…

The mailing company brought me a cheesy “playing card” bowl that I fully intend to take home (it’s cheap plastic) and use at my next card party (whenever that is).

At camp, a plot was formed and I ended up with 18 strawberry air fresheners hidden all over my sleeping area. That smell doesn’t go away quickly and doesn’t smell good. You all know who you are and you will pay.

Also at camp, some male staff ended up with fruit loops in their bed. I’m not telling who did it, but there were plenty of hints and I’m not sure one of them ever figured it out. I might have to find time to expand on this one. It was funny how it played out.

Two former campers told Sherry and I that we looked good for our age...we looked like we were in our 30’s. WE ARE IN OUR 30’s!!! I’m in my EARLY 30’s!!!

I also got told at camp that I must be the cool mom. Seems lots of people last week thought I had kids. BTW…no husband, no kids (no pets for that matter).

Drought-resistant flowers are not resistant to 100+ degree weather in Oklahoma when you haven’t watered them all summer. I’ve never had to water them before. They’re perennials and I’m hoping I didn’t kill them forever.

No Drip Walgreens Afrin smells (and feels) like lemon pledge up your nose. Kind of hurts.

I didn’t take a shower yesterday. I was too tired and didn’t want to bother with it, so I just pulled my hair up and went to work. I bet my office was glad that I stayed locked away in my office all day.

I still have not put my laundry away from camp. Matter of fact, my suit cases are still sitting in the foyer downstairs.

I need to clean my kitchen.
When you try to touch your toes wearing heels, you are very likely to fall over.

Embarrassing Office Moment

So I had a very embarrassing moment at work yesterday. If you read my blog last night, you got a little more detail, but I since decided to make it even more vague when I thought about some of the people that might possibly read this. Let's just say that sometimes you need to be more aware of what is in your inbox and that the preview feature on email isn't always a good thing.

I went to check my personal account yesterday and right after I opened it, my boss came into my office to discuss a project I'm working on. As I discovered after he left my office, there were some "not office appropriate" (but not dirty) images on my screen. I was mortified...and hoping that he was so concentrated on what we were discussing that he didn't notice either.

I Fear It's Genetic

My grandmother has always been a source of entertainment for our family. Not because she’s trying to be, because when she tries it’s lost on everyone. She just has always done things that make you shake your head.

A few examples…

She once told us that she kept a set of keys in her trunk in case she ever locked her keys in her car.

She told us one time that she had hidden a key to her house and wanted to give my dad directions on how to find it. It’s been a long time, so I don’t remember the exact procedure, but this will give you a good idea…take the top of the yard lamp in front of her house (which would require a screw driver). Inside the lamp was a piece of paper that would tell you where to go in the garage. Once you got to this location, there was another note directing you where to go next in the garage. After about 5 stops on her self-made scavenger hunt, you found the key. You could have broken into the house faster and easier.

Once when I was around 14, she was taking me to a doctor’s appointment because both of my parents had to work. Before we got to the doctor’s office, she told me she wanted me to ask the doctor for a pamphlet on PMS (Post Menopause Syndrome). I told her she could ask the doctor for one, but I wasn’t going to do it. She got mad and later called my dad and said I was being disrespectful (but didn’t tell him why). My dad called me and wanted to know what I had done. I told him. He laughed. I was no longer in trouble.

My favorite though came to fruition this weekend. When I was younger, I was going to visit some friends/family with my grandmother. On the way to our destination, she told me that if something happened to her that weekend (no idea why she thought something was going to happen to her…but these conversations were pretty common with her) she wanted to tell me where she kept her money. She told me that in her freezer I would find a bread sack (she always kept bread sacks). In the bread sack, I would find a jar. Inside the jar was another bread sack. Inside that was a brown paper bag. Inside the paper bag was all her money. From that day on, I always told my family that if something happens to grandma, I get the freezer.

Well, over the last year, my grandmother’s health has been failing and the decision was recently made to move her to a nursing home. One of my uncles called my mom and asked if she would mind going over to the house and getting all the food out. My called me right away and said “guess what, I get the freezer!” I jokingly made her promise to split anything she found with me. Yesterday my mom called and was telling me of her experience cleaning out the freezer. She had it full of butter dishes that had frozen food in them. This wasn’t odd, but none of the containers actually had in them what the label said was in them (container marked green beans had strawberries in it). She was tossing some of them out when she came across a container that felt kind of light. She opened it and inside was folded up toilet paper. Inside the toilet paper was $35.

I guess since she’s still living it would be considered stealing instead of an inheritance to keep it, so I guess getting the freezer didn’t pan out as well as I thought. Oh well, $35 wouldn’t even fill up my car these days, so it’s not a big loss. =o)

I can’t wait to see what we find when we clean out the rest of her house.

P.S. For those of you saying "now I know where you get it"...hush!

Maybe I Should Charging for My Services

It's kind of been a joke that on 3 previous occassions when friends have been expecting babies, I've joked with them (for no apparent reason than just being onry) that their babies would be born 2 weeks early...and then they were! So when my cousin found out that her due date was the day before her daughter's birthday, we made a deal...they would pray he would be born healthy and I would pray he would come early. It worked. Carter Lane was born yesterday...2 1/2 weeks early. He's absolutely precious and perfectly healthy! Congrats to the new parents!

I Really Can't Win

Because someone made a comment about the state of my office, I took time on Friday to actually clean my desk off. Today, one of our sales reps walked in and said "you must not be very busy...your office is clean." I give up.

More "Stuff"

Summer TV Watching
I was so excited for the Season 2 Premier of Army Wives on Lifetime. I love this show and the premier was worth the wait. If you didn’t follow it last season, it’s now on DVD so you can catch up. I highly recommend it.

On disappointing note, I watched the new season of Nashville Star last night. I had always been a fan of this show also and was excited to hear that it had been picked up by NBC now that I don’t get the USA Network. Sadly I was disappointed by the first episode. Somehow the show has lost something…talent being one of those things. The only two contestants that I thought were any good at all were Gabe Garcia and Melissa (don’t remember her last name). They both sounded really good. I’ll probably keep watching it because it’s summer and there is not much else on.


Late to Work
I found this article on MSN this morning. I was drawn to it because I am consistently late to work. Usually not by much, but same days are better than others. Sometimes I have some very legitimate excuses, but other days it’s just plain running behind. And it doesn’t matter how early I get up. I think I just have an aversion to going to work because I have no trouble being on time when I want to be somewhere. I always get up with the intention of being at work on time…that has to count for something.


Not-So-Clean Office
Someone (you know who you are) commented on Sunday how it must be nice to work some place where your office didn’t have to be clean before you left work. Ouch! =o) Yes, I know my office is a mess, but it’s not ALL my fault. I only take responsibility for the area around my computer and half responsibility for the stuff on the credenza behind me. I have so much stuff I have to store in my office and so much junk people put in my office (they think I’m their store room). What’s worse is that I have a closet in my office, but it has a filing cabinet that two other secretaries won’t let me remove because there is stuff stored in one drawer that they claim they need. I have been in here about 4-5 years and not once have they ever gotten into that filing cabinet.


Weird Dream
I know you’re SHOCKED to hear I had another weird dream, but this one is bugging me for some reason. Since I was in High School, I have had this reoccurring theme to my dreams from time to time where I have to marry someone I don’t want to marry. I actually hadn’t one of these dreams in quite a while, but had another one last night. This time though I was marrying someone from my distant past that I’m actually kind of repulsed by because of a dating experience with him. Thankfully in the course of the dream he also decided that he didn’t want to marry me either so the day of the wedding, we called it off. I was really relieved…and for the first time ever in these dreams, I got out of having to marry the person. Hmmm…

The Art of Non-Dating

Dating is not something I have ever been good at. I’m sure there are a lot of reasons for it, but we’ll save that for another post.

Non-dating on the other hand, I seem to be getting quite good at. I’ve found that everyone has a slightly different definition of “non-dating”, but here is mine: “non-dating” is when a guy picks you up at your house, opens the car door for you, and takes you to out to either dinner or a movie (rarely both in the same outing), and pays.

I know what you’re thinking “that sounds like a date.” The key difference is that IT IS NOT A DATE…its just two friends hanging out. You must be clear on this. Everyone you know must be clear on this, because if the definition is ever questioned, the guy will start acting very weird, keep you at arms length, and you get to spend the next 3 months convincing him that you are in fact very clear that the two of you are just friends, and nothing more than that.

I have spent the last 2 years perfecting the art of “non-dating.” So I’m sure most of you are wondering why I would even put up with it. Well, said “guy” is also a very dear friend of mine and I really enjoy his company. It took a little getting used to because I never had any experience in the non-dating department before him, but I’ve come to look at it the same way I do when I hang out with any of my other friends. The fact he pays is awkward for me, but I always go prepared to pay my own way. This is also something I have found you have to handle delicately. Some guys get offended if offer to pay and some guys think you’re a freeloader if you don’t…but again, a topic for another post.

But hey, non-dating is better than not dating…and it get me out of the house on Friday/Saturday night every few months and makes me feel less like a loser since normally I’m sitting at home or at the grocery store. =o)

Highlight from the Past Few Weeks:

I haven't had time to do much posting lately, so here it is on warp speed...

5-1 Ladder my mom bought me because I seriously needed one.

Cordless Power Screw Driver my brother bought me because he missed my birthday last year.

Seeing people I haven’t seen in YEARS, the biggest being a childhood friend I hadn’t seen in at least 10 years.

Being whistled at in the Homeland Parking Lot by two teenage boys. Thanks boys. I know you were just doing what teenage boys do, but you gave this “older woman” a much needed ego boost. =o)

Making $86k net at Relay (But we have until August to reach that goal of $90k. You can go here to donate!) =o)

Having 30 people in our new singles class the first Sunday it met (I was nervous about the turnout).

Dinner with Shelleye.

Pedicures with Jenn (even if I did spend more than I intended to because I couldn’t understand the lady and kept saying “sure”. Yeah, don’t do that.)

Getting a Team Captain Bag. I know that probably sounds silly, but they were kind of pricey (and the cost comes out of our Relay), so they only ordered enough for the team captains, and there weren’t extras for the committee but I really wanted one, so Sara got me one for my Event Chair gift. I was excited!


Now for the “Not So Funny” Highlights (that I can laugh at now):

The UCO Security Officer (aka Barney Fife) who tried to kick us off campus and out of our accounting room b/c his boss failed to tell him we’d be there. Seriously, did he think that 300 people would just show up and use UCO tables and chairs without clearing it first. Some people have nothing better to do.

Dropping a bag of ice on my foot. I know that your supposed to ice your foot when you drop something heavy on it, but I don’t think that is the way you’re supposed to go about it.

The Gator (kind of like a golf cart) that I borrowed from work being moved and the keys being taken. THANKFULLY, we were able to get a replacement key free of charge. Thank you RSC!

Almost falling head first into the copier this morning because I tripped on my own feet (okay, that was pretty funny).

Burning my forearm on the oven door making cookies. It hurt and there it left a scar.


Yeah, that is all I can thank of at the moment. That should suffice for the time being. =o)

Funny Little Random Story

A few weeks ago, some of my family came by my house for a little bit. My cousin’s 3 (almost 4) year-old daughter loves to “play cards” when she comes to my house. To her “playing cards” means we get out my Uno Attack game and take turns pushing the button until the cards come shooting out, and then we put all the cards back in and do it again. It keeps her entertained and requires little thought on my part.

This time when we were “playing cards” my Uno Attack game developed a little problem. Instead of shooting a few cards out like it normally does, it would shoot ALL the cards out. The first time it happened it was pretty funny because she was the one pushing the button and was drowning in a sea of cards. What was funnier is that she was the only one it would happen to. If it was aimed at Kinley, cards would come shooting out. If it was aimed at me…nothing (no matter who was pushing the button or how many times we pushed it).

Eventually she got them to shoot out at both me and her “Mimi”, but it was pretty much a guarantee if it was pointing at her, she was going to get covered. One of those moments when you really wish you had a video camera.

Just Wondering

Have you ever looked back at a situation in your life and thought “I wish I knew then what I know now?” Ever wish you had the wisdom, strength, courage, character, etc. that you have now to have handled something then? I guess for better or for worse, its those situations that make you the person you are now. But still, it would be nice if you could have had that knowledge/character then. That’s what has been on my mind a lot the last two days.

Moron Moment

Ever had one of those moments when you wonder "what was I thinking?" This morning I brought some orange juice with me to work. But the container I brought it in is hard to drink out of, so I was pouring into a cup. First I made the mistake of pouring the juice into the cup OVER my keyboard. But the worst part was the attached lid was in the way and so it was causing the juice to go everywhere and it took me a moment to realize I was pouring OJ all over my keyboard. I should never do anything that requires skill before 10 a.m.!

Today

Good Day
It has been a good day so far. Not a whole lot has happened, but one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world brought me a wonderful little thank you gift and a Sonic drink today. Sonic, cookies, and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups…doesn’t get any better than that (oh, and there was BBW lotion on top of that!) She said it was a belated “thank you” for watching her kids. I adore her kids, so I would have done it even if there wasn’t Sonic and chocolate involved! Thank Jenn for brightening my day…I’ve needed it lately.

Strategic Planning
I mentioned in a previous post that I put a lot of thought into planning out my errand running so that I use my time in the most efficient way. Tonight, I am so serious about it that I have a list…in the order I plan to visit the places. I gave it lots of thought. I decided to save all of my weekly errand for tonight. With the price of gas, errands definitely take some planning these days. My goal is to accomplish everything on my list before 9 p.m. Wish me luck!

Not Nuts about Nats (okay, Gnats)
I think I have also previously posted about my gnat problem. They have taken up residence in two of my house plants and I have been trying since last summer to get rid of them. They are REALLY bad right now and one of tonight’s errands is a last ditch attempt to save my plants and permanently rid myself of my gnat problem. I would just throw the plants out, but they have sentimental value and so I really don’t want to do that unless I have no other option. Back in March, I dumped them out, washed them off, washed out the pots, and re-potted them. I thought that solved my problem, but it didn’t last long. But something has to be done. They are really attracted to water…so much so that if I sit a drinking glass down for too long, it will have gnats floating in it. I’m telling you it’s GROSS! Ugh!

Ode to the Missing Drinking Glass

Oh Missing Drinking Glass, where ever did you go?
Our time together was oh so short.
I anticipated your arrival for so long,
Your short stay has left me oh so sad.

Daily I check the cupboard to see if you found your way home,
But each time I find myself disappointed that you are still MIA.
Did you grow feet and walk?
Did you move to a new home?
Did you meet an untimely demise?

I tried to accept our short time together was over.
I tried to replace you, but you cannot be easily replaced.
I guess I will just have to put aside my dreams of dinner parties…
With matching drinkware for eight.
Oh Missing Drinking Glass, where ever did you go?

May Madness

OK Chick…this is why I haven’t updated:

Ever had one of those months where you know that if you survive without some sort of break down, it will be a miracle? Right now June 1st is the magic date for me. If I can make it past June 1st, it will all be down hill.

This is my May (it may not sound like much, but it really is...I'm just not going into detail):

- Relay for Life and all the last minute preparations that go into that. Relay is May 30-31 (yep 3 weeks and 2 days from today). We’re a little short handed this year and the people willing to step up and help me with the areas I have to pick up the slack on are already pretty busy with their own committee positions. Thank heavens for a staff partner who has been willing to go above and beyond for me.

- I’ve been working with a group to start a new singles class at church. So far things have been going much better than I thought they would, but there is still so much that needs to be done before the class starts on June 1. Plus its my nature to always prepare for the worst, so I probably will not breath easy until after the first class is over (maybe even the first quarter).

- VBS. Now technically VBS isn’t until the middle of June, but my involvement with VBS actually takes place a month or two before the actual event takes place. The first phase of the VBS advertising is done. May holds the second phase.

- Building Campaign. This is the newest addition to my “To-Do” list, and though the timing is bad, I’m kind of excited about working on this one. I like having projects like this at work. Our congregation is getting ready to do some major renovations to our west wing…which requires money. My job is to design and prepare all of the information/fund raising packets for this project. I got to do a similar project back in 2002 and really enjoyed doing it, even though I took a lot of time. The only bad part is that everything needs to be ready to go by June 1.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not complaining because it will all be worth it if things go well…but I might need to hire someone to clean my house, do my laundry, and do my grocery shopping for the next month. =o)

Is Anyone Listening to Me?!?

I have recently run into a problem with a company that I do business with. When I noticed there was an issue with my account, I contacted them the only way possible…through email. I stated my problem and the next day I receive a reply. Obviously an automated reply because if they had actually READ my email, they would have known that their response would not possibly solve my problem.

So I emailed them back. Said that I understand what they are saying, but I can’t go that item on my account activity list because the item isn’t showing up, so I can’t open up the item and click on “contact customer service for help with this item.”

The next day I got the exact same automated email back. Now I’m slightly irritated. I asked them if they even read my email. I can’t do what they are asking because the account item isn’t showing up. I can’t follow the steps they are telling me to take because not all the elements are available. Since there is only a small window of time to resolve this issue, I would really appreciate an actual response to my email instead of an automated response.

This morning…the exact same automated response. Ugh! I give up!!!

Some Days Are Just Like This

Someone sent me this video years ago, but I have it saved on my computer because I absolutely love it...probably because this is how I feel 90% of the time. And I'm posting it because it's how I feel today!

Make It Stop!!!

I haven’t written much about Relay for Life this year, but this I’m going to share.

We are less than 6 weeks away from the event. For the most part, things are going okay, but there is still a lot that needs to be done and we’re still a ways from reaching some of our goals.

I guess the “lot to be done” part is really getting to me because all night, I dreamed about Relay. I dreamed that it was today (that woke me up in cold sweat several times). I dreamed that we were only able to get one case of water donated. I dreamed we didn’t have any food. I dreamed that everyone set up in my neighborhood instead of at UCO. I dreamed I got trapped on the top floor of someplace and couldn’t get into an elevator to go down (that I think was a flashback to Relay Summit in Dallas).

I kept waking up during the night from bad dreams and every dream was about Relay. I hope this doesn’t become a trend or I’m not going to be getting much sleep in the next several weeks.

I got this email from Suzy recently and I decided to share along with my own commentary.

The human body is a machine that is full of wonder. This collection of human body facts will leave you wondering why we were designed the way we were!

*Scientists say the higher your I.Q., the more you dream. I must be SMART!!!

*The largest cell in the human body is the female egg.

*The smallest is the male sperm.

*You use 200 muscles to take one step.

*The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.

*Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three. Unless you are me and then you only have two in your little toes also...except for when you break them, then you have 3.

*A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands.

*A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.

*The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades. Some idiot is going to put this to the test. I will not be that idiot...remember, I'm smart!

*The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica. But it's much quicker to find the information in the Encyclopedia than it is to find it in my brain...things get lost in there.

*It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

*The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds. Man, I pack a lot into those 2-3 seconds.

*Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.

*At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.

*There is about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet. Yuck...when I was in high school, I could stick my foot in my mouth...literally...and did several times.

*Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil. Prove it!

*The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.

*Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born.

*When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, and they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate. So if I'm staring into your eyes, don't get creeped out, I'm just trying to see if you love/hate me.

*Your thumb is the same length of your nose. I have a very long thumb.

*At this very moment I know full well you are putting this last fact to the test...now remove your thumb from your nose and pass this on to the friends you think might be interested in comparing their thumbs to their noses as well - I did.

Please Don’t Shoot the Messenger

I don’t know how many of you have the kind of job where from time to time, you are required to be the barer of news to a co-worker that is not going to make them very happy. If you do you probably can feel my pain right now.

I don’t know why I keep getting putting in this position because I’m not any of their supervisors and most of them seem to resent getting this information from me and I find myself in the middle of a battle that really isn’t mine. I often feel the need to duck and cover. I don’t know why people always insist on making me the bad guy. It happens at camp a lot too. I had a co-counselor once ask me to tell one of her campers that her shorts were too short because she “didn’t want the girl to hate [her]”. What, like I want her to hate me?

Anyway, I’m having one of those days today. It happens a little too often for my taste. And this one could be a big one, so I currently feel the need to get in a fetal position in the corner, cover my head and plead “Don’t Shoot the Messenger!!!”

First Annual Me Week

Last week was the First Annual Me Week? What is “Me Week”? That is the week of work I took off to do stuff I needed/wanted to do. I must say, “Me Week” will probably become an annual tradition. So how did I spend my “Me Week”? Here is the rundown…

Easter Weekend
Me Week started a little early with a visit from Tonna, Kael and Zaine. I hadn’t seen them in over a year so it was a much anticipated weekend and lots of fun! We hung out with Tarren & Erin (Tonna’s brother/sister-in-law), did some Easter Egg hunting, went to the park, and ate LOTS. It was a fun weekend.

Monday
Monday was spent cleaning my bedroom. Yes, it took me all day, BUT I wasn’t just cleaning, I was cleaning out and I dusted/vacuumed everything. I started an eBay pile and a Goodwill pile.

Tuesday
Tuesday was another cleaning/cleaning out day. I also took a break to go meet my friend, Grace, for lunch in Bricktown.

Wednesday
This was the most eventful day of the week. It started Tuesday night when the fan on my furnace wouldn’t shut off, so I had to turn it off at the fuse box to keep it from running. I had plans around noon on Wednesday, so I got up early to get ready in hopes that I could get someone out before I had to leave to look at the problem. That didn’t happen, but he did make it out late that afternoon, so all was well (with the exception of an impending repair before next fall).

After lunch, I went to the zoo with my friend, Jenn, and her kids. I LOVE going to the zoo and it was a nice day to do it. We did have to do a little redneck rigging of the stroller to keep the sun off of Kyler, but it worked. The animals were more into napping than anything else, so we were only there a couple of hours.

The most eventful part came after dinner that evening. I had been sitting on the couch and went to get up to take my dishes to the kitchen and change clothes before church. I was wearing a pair of cargo pants that were rolled up to Capri length. Don’t ask me how I did this, but I got up, took a step (maybe two) then managed to get my foot caught in loop of my pants and fell flat on my face. I have a HUGE bruise on my left knee to prove it and a nice big rip in my pants. I guess it’s a good thing they weren’t one of my favorite pairs of pants. I’m thinking it need to get one of those “I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up” devices.

Thursday
This was work outside day. I cleaned out my garage, pulled weeds in the flower bed, fixed the crack in the bird bath, sprayed my back yard for weeds, and THEN I went inside and started the paper shredding process.

Friday
This was my last official cleaning day. I cleaned the kitchen and mopped/vacuumed/dusted everything downstairs. By Friday evening, I decided my work was done and didn’t do much the rest of the weekend.

Must say, I’m impressed with myself. I completed all but two items on my list and that was just because I couldn’t complete them. I know most of you could think of better ways to spend a week off, but when you can’t afford to go on a vacation, it’s a good way to spend a week away from the office. Me Week is definitely going to become a new tradition.