Wednesday, June 22, 2005


People are always telling me what a patient person I am. Personally I feel like a very impatient person when you really get down to it. I can put up with bad behavior from people (at least the ones I care about) most of the time because I have a great deal of hope it’s only temporary. But when it comes to the big picture…that’s a different story.

So often (this being one of those times) I’m faced with a difficult situation that I know in time will be resolved because I’m spending time in prayer about the situation and have faith that God will always do what’s best. Even if the result isn’t what I want ideally, I know God’s will is so much better than anything I could possibly desire on my own. Problem is, I want to know God’s will NOW. I find myself thinking, “If God would just show me the outcome, I’m okay with not knowing what it will take to get there.”

Yes, I know it’s in these times that character is built. Trust me, I’m quite the character! To make things worse, I never seem to want to take the easy way out. It’s like a game show and I’m being shown a “sure thing” behind curtain one, but NOOOO, I’m the type that will choose curtain two and take the hard road if I think the outcome could be even better than the sure thing. So I guess I can’t complain too much because I guess I’m partly responsible for my times of struggle. And really, it’s not that I can’t handle the struggles that come my way (especially this time), I’m just tired of “handling the struggles.” I’ll continue to push through whatever comes my way, but it sure would be nice to have a break now and then. =)

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