Monday, June 09, 2008

The Art of Non-Dating

Dating is not something I have ever been good at. I’m sure there are a lot of reasons for it, but we’ll save that for another post.

Non-dating on the other hand, I seem to be getting quite good at. I’ve found that everyone has a slightly different definition of “non-dating”, but here is mine: “non-dating” is when a guy picks you up at your house, opens the car door for you, and takes you to out to either dinner or a movie (rarely both in the same outing), and pays.

I know what you’re thinking “that sounds like a date.” The key difference is that IT IS NOT A DATE…its just two friends hanging out. You must be clear on this. Everyone you know must be clear on this, because if the definition is ever questioned, the guy will start acting very weird, keep you at arms length, and you get to spend the next 3 months convincing him that you are in fact very clear that the two of you are just friends, and nothing more than that.

I have spent the last 2 years perfecting the art of “non-dating.” So I’m sure most of you are wondering why I would even put up with it. Well, said “guy” is also a very dear friend of mine and I really enjoy his company. It took a little getting used to because I never had any experience in the non-dating department before him, but I’ve come to look at it the same way I do when I hang out with any of my other friends. The fact he pays is awkward for me, but I always go prepared to pay my own way. This is also something I have found you have to handle delicately. Some guys get offended if offer to pay and some guys think you’re a freeloader if you don’t…but again, a topic for another post.

But hey, non-dating is better than not dating…and it get me out of the house on Friday/Saturday night every few months and makes me feel less like a loser since normally I’m sitting at home or at the grocery store. =o)


Sarah said...

I'm right there with you on this one. At least he's clear about it-- I've outings where I still wonder years later if it was a date or not. I've been out with guys and wondered if maybe I was ACCIDENTALLY on a date too.

And men think WE'RE unclear.

Stacey said...

Oh, I don't know that he's clear about it, but I've figured out the hard way, it's better to make the safe assumption.

OutsidersIn said...

If I lived in Oklahoma, I'd totally go on a non-date with you. I go on them all the time here.

Stacey said...

Ah, thanks. You would be a very enjoyable Non-Date. =o)