Thursday, November 04, 2004

Scary Movies

Okay, so last night I went to go see The Grudge (which, can I say that this link even freaks me out) with some friends after church. I know there are some out there that weren’t that impressed, but since I’m so jumpy, I was completely freaked out. What really got me was the scene of the lady in her bed. I won’t share details, but it only seems logical to me when you’re scared to run and jump in your bed and hide under the covers. Not sure about this anymore. If you’re not safe in your own bed, where are you safe?

Now if you’re like me, when you see movies like this, you’re sitting there saying – out loud – “what are you thinking?!?” No wonder people in scary movies get killed. They’re STUPID! This was just reinforced last night, so here is my brief attempt at a guide of “how not to get killed in a horror movie.” Feel free to add to the list.

1. If you hear a scary noise, do not go “check it out” especially by yourself and without some weapon to protect yourself.

2. Do NOT take the stairs. Don’t go upstairs, don’t go down stairs, don’t go in the stairwell. Bad things happen when stairs are involved.

3. Never return to the scene of the crime. When you know that something bad has happened in a house, a school, anywhere - don’t go back there! If you were fortunate enough to get out the first time, you probably won’t be the second time.

4. Don’t date someone who seems to have involved themselves in some horrific quest. The significant other ALWAYS dies.

5. If you ring the doorbell and no one answers, but the door is unlocked, don’t go inside.

6. NEVER under any circumstances go up into the attic or the down into the basement. Bad things happen in attics and basements.

7. Never leave the office late at night by yourself. Actually being at work late at night by yourself is never a good thing because that “night watchmen” hired by your company to keep you safe will not protect you and most likely, will die himself.

8. Stay away from the creepy kid. No matter how sorry you feel for the kid, the creepy kid will always be your demise (especially if it cries like a cat!)

9. If scary things have been happening to you all evening, do not open the door. No matter who you think it is, DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR! It will always lead to your demise.

10. If you think there is something in or under your bed, don’t look. RUN!!!!!!!

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