Wild Kingdom

The following account is true. No names have been changed to protect the innocent. No details have been exaggerated for dramatic effect.

If you have kept up with my blog at all, you know that a few months ago I bought a townhouse that has been an interesting experience to say the least. I really do like my place. It’s a work in progress, but I like the layout and I like the location. I even like the fact that it backs up to a greenbelt. I love the trees and I love being able to look out my back window and not see a busy street. Having this greenbelt has though been the source of some of the excitement around my house.

It all started with the raccoon (a.k.a. the non-rent paying resident). To recap, I trapped on in January, and then a few weeks ago, heard another one, so I set another trap. I have yet to catch the second one, but I also hadn’t heard him lately. I wasn’t sure how they were getting in and I’m too afraid to enter my attic (for good reason as you will soon learn), so my sweet, kind, loving, younger brother came down with my mom on Friday to investigate and resolve the situation.

I had to work for a little while on Friday morning, so when my mom and brother got here, I gave them a key to my house and planned to meet them there later. There was a lot of chaos in our office Friday morning, and at one point, I was on the phone, my cell phone was ringing, my direct line was ringing and someone was trying to transfer a call to me. Before I could check messages on both phones, my direct line rings again…it was my brother. Here is our conversation:

Brad: Hey, it’s your brother. I need to ask you a quick question.
Me: Can I call you right back. I’m in the middle of something.
Brad: Well, just really quick. I need to know who you want me to call – Edmond or Oklahoma City Animal Control, or do you want to call someone else?
Me: Why? What did you find?
Brad: You have a creature in our attic.
Me: A creature? What kind of a creature?
Brad: A snake. A very large snake. About 10 feet I think.

The rest of the conversation pretty much consisted of me saying “uh-uh” and “no way!”

It seems that when my brother went up into my attic to investigate, he looked over at my heater vent and there was a very large snake wrapped around it. Probably a bull snake. Brad then decided to see if it’s still alive and tosses something at it. That’s when it raised it’s head up…yep, he was alive. Story has it Brad quickly exited the attic. My brother and I may not have a lot in common, but we both HATE snakes. But he’s braver than me. After calling me, he went back up there to figure out where it got in at. He discovered a large hole in my attic right above my furnace closet (also right where the snake was originally). He was trying to figure out where this hole lead, so my mom was opening doors till they found it. When she closed the door to the furnace, the grate below rattled and squirrel that was hiding in a yet to be found hole, came running out at my brother. I’m so sad I wasn’t there with a video camera, but I guess he was out of the attic, down the stairs and out the front door in nothing flat.

Meanwhile, I called a pest control company to come out and resolve the issue. They didn’t find the snake, or the squirrel, but find out where they are getting in at. Seems the unit two doors down from me has a significant hole in the roof and the wire mesh is loose on one of the roof vents. I called their landlord and he told me he would stop by on Friday – which he never did. I really hope he gets it fixed soon, because until he does, I’m going to keep having to pay someone to come out and put down traps and at $50 a trip, that’s going to get expensive. Right now, I’m trying to take up a collection so I can pay them to come remove the snake when we catch it. My skin crawls just thinking about it. We need to peek up there to see if we’ve caught anything yet, but Melissa and I are both too freaked out knowing a snake is up there and not knowing where that snake might be when we open the hatch.

If you haven’t noticed, the squirrel and the raccoon are the least of my concerns now.

Oh, and if that wasn’t enough, I’m having another wild life issue. I also have a bird outside my window that likes to start singing around 5:30 or 6:00 every morning. I like birds, but couldn’t he at least wait till 6:30 when I need to get up? If you’ve seen the movie Failure to Launch, you know which character I can relate to right now.

So, if anyone if feeling adventurous, come on over! I’m sure this will not be my last post on wild life. My book definitely has a new chapter. I just need to get writing.