Over-Heard in the Office

Sometimes I just love the things I hear people say in my office. Today co-worker #1 was sharing with co-worker #2 the experience she and her family had in fleeing their hotel while they were in Hawaii recently during the earthquake. Co-worker #2’s comment was “didn’t they have a basement or something you could take shelter in?”

Seriously, would it really be wise to be in the basement of a building that is shaking and could potentially crumble to the ground? I think not.

Thoughts for the Week

My New Toy
A salesman came in yesterday trying to sell us a new phone system. Since we just replaced ours about three years ago and it’s not something you replace regularly, he was wasting his time. He DID bring me something really cool (not a stupid pen or magnet like they usually bring). He brought me an airplane! And of course, as soon as he left the office, I put it together and tried it out. It didn’t do too well in the office because it kept hitting the ceiling tiles, but it DID do awesome in the auditorium. Who could think I would be so easily entertained (okay, so everyone did.)

Pumpkin Carving
Warning, this can become addictive. What’s great is that it’s a lot easier to carve and NO CLEAN UP! There used to be a tradition with some of my college friends to have a pumpkin carving party every year, but we haven’t done it in a really long time. I thought about re-establishing the tradition this year with new friends, but decided it was too messy. So HERE consider yourself invited to my pumpkin carving party!

Hiccups
I got the hiccups really bad this afternoon. I hate the hiccups, especially when they are so bad that you can’t write or type because of the convulsions the cause.

House Numbers
I finally have house numbers. Now I just need to put them on the house. I tried Tuesday night, but it was after 7 p.m. and it was noisy and I didn’t want to make the neighbors mad, so I decided to hold off and maybe try at lunch today when no one is home.

The Post Office
If you live in Edmond and have every tried to send out a bulk mail, you know how trying it can be (especially when Silvia was in charge). Yesterday, one of our secretaries took a bulk mailing to the post office. When she got there, they didn’t have any sleeves for her to put the trays in, so she went to the counter. The normal lady wasn’t there, but Debbie could see a woman back there working. She waited a few minutes before the woman saw her and approached the counter. Here was their conversation:

Postal Employee: Did you need something?
Debbie: You are out of sleeves and I need some for my trays.
Postal Employee: Did you ring the bell?
Debbie: This bell? (pointing to the counter) No.
Postal Employee: You need to ring the bell.

Debbie stands there for a second trying to figure out if this woman was serious and decides she is. So she rings the bell.

Postal Employee: How can I help you?

Debbie seriously was looking for a hidden camera and said it was all she could do not to bust out laughing. Seriously, we are starting to wonder what test they give postal employees to determine if they are difficult enough people to work for them.

Nightmare
Last night (well, technically it was this morning) I had one of the worst nightmares I have had in a very long time. Hours later and I am STILL shaking. In my dream, I was living in an apartment (the big city kind that opens up into a hallway). A friend had come over and we were talking in my living room for a little bit and then he left. After he left, I decided to make pancakes. I had just finished and walked into the other room when I hear my front door open. Thinking it’s my friend, I peak around the corner. That’s when this guy is walking around my kitchen telling me he’s the apartment welcoming committee. He’s got a bottle of pills and it unwrapping something (cord or tape or something). The way the apartment was laid out, I was able to run out the front door without running past him. I’m running down the hall banging on door screaming and just about the time he grabbed me, I woke myself up screaming. I don’t know if I woke my roommate up (if I did, she wasn’t too worried), but it took me over 45 minutes to calm down enough to go back to sleep. I hate dreams like that.

Random Question for the Day

A co-worker popped her head into my office a little bit ago and asked “Do you remember when they take the High School Merit Scholarship Test?” Though flattered that she thinks I’m young enough to remember something like that, I’ve not been in High School in 14 ½ years, which means IF I even took the test, it was at least 15+ years ago. So the answer to her question would be “no”.

What is that test anyway? All I know is that my first roommate was a National Merit Scholar Finalist. She was the smart one. I’m not sure which one I was.

I Have the Phone and I’m Not Afraid to Use It!

I put a post on Lindsy’s blog earlier today and then realized it probably sounds dumb if you don’t know the story and well…most of my readers probably don’t know the story. It’s actually kind of dumb anyway, but I still laugh at my attempt at bravery. I was sure I had posted this story in the past, but it looks like I actually haven’t, so here you go…

Summer after my sophomore year in college, I lived with 4 other girls in a 3 bedroom apartment. To this day, that was probably one of the funnest summers of my life. All kinds of crazy things happened that summer, but this was probably one of our most memorable experiences.

One evening, Denise, Tracy, Jill, Cindy (Jill’s sister who was visiting for a few days) and I all went to a bible study at our campus minister’s house. Our fourth roommate, Lisa, had other plans and was still at the house when we left. When we got back, Lisa was gone and everything seemed normal – till we looked down the hall way. All the doors were closed, but had been open when we left. We didn’t think much of it till Cindy went down the hall and tried to go into Jill’s room. When she tired to open the door, there was some resistance and the second she took her hand off the door, it closed. She comes back down the hall and informs us she thinks there is someone in Jill & Lisa’s room. Then the fact that all the doors were closed became more alarming.

We’re all standing in the living room trying to decide what to do. So we all grab the “butcher” knives we had in the kitchen (that probably couldn’t even cut butter they were so dull – yet I still have them), and prepare to run out of the apartment to plan our “attack”. Some one told me to grab the cordless phone, so I did. And in my attempt to try to be brave – I yell down the hall “I have the phone and I’m not afraid to use it.” Problem was, there was another phone in the room we suspected to have an intruder – all he had to do was take it off the hook and I wouldn’t be able to call out. Oh, and when I get outside the girls are laughing because they thought I said “I have the phone and I know how to use it.”

So here we are, all five of us standing outside the apartment with dull butcher knives and a cordless phone, trying to decide what our next plan of action was. Since we weren’t exactly sure if we had an intruder or not, we didn’t want to call 911 or apartment security. So we called a friend of Jill & Cindy’s who lived in our complex with some other BIG guys. Not wanting to look stupid, we hid the butcher knives in the bushes before the guys got there.

After a couple of minutes they arrive, baseball bats in hand, prepared to save the day. We all go inside as the guys proceed to open all of our doors and inspect closets, showers and under the bed. The last room they come to is the one with the suspected intruder. One of the guys pushes open the door and then enters the room. A few seconds later, he walks down the hall with a grin on his face. He found our intruder. It was a towel that had slipped off the back of the door. They figure the reason the door closed as soon as Cindy let go was because of a draft.

They got a good laugh out of it and we had yet another story to add to the summer craziness.

Bored?

Give this a try! My first try score was 84. Pretty accurate to my real bowling score!

Psalm 37

I love it when I've been praying about something and then when you sit down to read your Bible and the passage you read totally hits home - almost like God's saying "I hear your prayer and this is what I have to say for now." I had one of those experiences this morning and it's made for a good start to my day.

Psalm 37:1-8

Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away. Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.

Weird

It’s the weirdest thing. My middle finger on my right hand hurts really bad (and it’s not from over use…actually any use). It almost feels like a bone spur or something and it’s not the entire finger, it’s just the middle section between the two joints. I only feel it if I touch it or try holding a pen or an eating utensil. I can’t really think of anything I might have done. It doesn’t feel jammed or anything. Very bizarre if you ask me.

Some People Are Easy to Please

I overheard the following quote from one of the guys on our Vienna team today when they were learning to use the postage machine “That thing is the coolest! It’s my favorite thing here so far.” (FYI, I think it was Rusher).

Granted, the postage machine is pretty cool. It seals and stamps the envelopes for you, but I’m not sure if it’s my favorite thing. Mine would have to be the folder, hands down.

Need an ego boost, call a plumber!

When I first moved in, my toilet was leaking around the base, so I called the warranty company and they came out and “fixed” it. Problem was, they didn’t fix it correctly and 10 months later, I started having the problem again. So called them again and asked for it to be fixed right this time. This time they sent out a plumber

First of all, my plumber looked a lot like Gary LeVox from Rascal Flatts. He was really nice and I think was kind of hitting on me a little. Turns out he lost his wife six years ago to breast cancer and has been raising his son and daughter on his own since then (they’re both in college now). He was giving me all kinds of relationship “advice” while he was fixing my toilet (which was done correctly this time). We talked about the woman he’s dating now and the guys I’ve dated in the past (he thinks the guys I’ve dated are stupid to not realize what they had – I concur). =o)

So, this is the second time I’ve kind of gotten a much needed ego boost from a plumber. If it didn’t cost me $45 every time they sent someone out, I would probably break something every time I needed to feel good about myself.

Monday Thoughts

Bad Season for Squirrels
I’ve decided it is not a good time to be a squirrel. I don’t know the cause, but I have noticed a lot of squirrels have met an untimely death lately when I have been out driving around. I have seen a ton of dead squirrels either on the side of the road or in the middle of the road. Most of them flat on their back. Are they falling out of trees? Have they been poisoned? Is the thought of being evacuated from their homes to make room for yet another shopping complex near Hafer Park just too much for them and are they lying there hoping to just end it all? I don’t know the answer, but if there are any squirrels reading this, you might steer clear of the asphalt.

Hmm…
I think if they ever make a TV movie about the Mark Foley case, I think they need to cast Matthew Perry to play him. Seriously, look how much they resemble each other. Just age Matthew a little and you’ve got your man!

Change to the Priority List
There has been a change to the home improvement priority list. I have a decided that it has become of the utmost importance that I drywall my storage space under the closet. I finally got the courage to try to pull out the stuff stored in there to patch the hole when I noticed the beginnings of a nest in the corner. Oh, yes. It appears that mouse is trying to take up residence in the “holiday closet”. I have a policy about non-rent paying residents. They must be evicted. Of course, when I saw the nest, I put what stuff I had pulled out back in, closed the door and called my mom. She said she’d help me take care of it over Thanksgiving, but I didn’t want to wait that long. So, all goes well, she and my brother are coming down for the day sometime next week and helping me “de-mouse” the closet (I won’t be helping with that part), patch the hole and put up drywall. Actually, this probably needs to be done to help with heating costs this winter. Of course, the last time my brother came down to help me with a home improvement project, he found a snake and a squirrel and almost had a heart attack. Maybe I need to have a video camera on hand this time!

I Had a “Friends” Moment

Remember that episode where the cheesecake was mistakenly being delivered to Monica’s apartment and Chandler and Rachel were eating the cheesecake? (Season 7, episode 11 - just FYI) Then the cheesecake got dropped on the floor and they started eating it off the floor? That almost happened to me a few minutes ago. We had a cheesecake in the refrigerator in our office, so I went to get a piece. I took the box out and set it on the counter. When I let go of the box, it fell off the counter (it wasn’t fully on the counter and was top-heavy.) Luckily, the cheesecake stayed in the box and surprisingly stayed intact. I miss Friends!

Things That Make Me Laugh

I read the following article on MSN today and it just cracked me up (maybe because it reminded me of a story someone told me about a friend of his and a “waxing incident.”) I’m not sure if I really have an opinion on the subject. I guess as long as it’s not in excess, I could care less.

The Return of Chest Hair
By Jessica Pressler

A little while ago, movie stars like Heath Ledger and Hugh Jackman and then just regular dudes started turning up at parties with their shirts unbuttoned. Not, like, all-the-way-to-the-navel, Vinnie-at-the-club unbuttoned-but undone enough to let a few tendrils of chest hair curl out suggestively, as if to say, I am Man. Feel me.

It's not that I'm a chest hair fetishist, exactly. I just prefer it. The bald male chest is disconcerting to me in the same way that a hairless dog is. It seems unnatural, as though it's been engineered by science, and it's sort of vain. Plus, I like a little something to stroke and pet and tug on, a springy, hairy pillow on which to lay my head. A quick text-message poll confirmed that fourteen of fifteen female friends agreed. "Yes!!!" wrote one. "Liking lush forest!" replied another.

And there you have it. The area rugs popularized by Hugh et al. are more than just decorative statements; they're welcome beacons of masculinity in a too-calm sea of feyness. They're a rebuttal to the androgynous Jude Law pretty-boy aesthetic and the skinny-pantsed Strokesification of our time. In short: Your chest hair is hot. Own it.
But wait! A new text has arrived: "H8 back hair, tho." Um, yeah. Don't cancel that salon appointment just yet. The women of America are not ready for the full shag.


Who Brought the Cat?

A co-worker sent me this picture yesterday. It cracks me up, yet raises so many questions, like:

1) Who thought it would be a good idea to take the cat along for the ride in the first place? None of our cats ever liked water, so did they not think this might not go well?

2) Where is the picture of the cat when it hits the water (now that REALLY would have been funny)?

3) Does the cat have claws? If so, was it smart to put it in an inflatable raft in the first place?

4) If by some chance the cat was PhotoShopped in, but if so, what did someone do to that poor cat (I can’t believe I just used the phrase “poor cat”) to get that reaction out of it.

Though, then again, I can just see those little girls INSISTING that their kitty come along for the ride (the same little girls have probably dressed and tortured that cat in the past).